(Let me start by saying that Adam's new girlfriend I'm sure is a great person but because it makes me feel better she will play the snake in my story.)
So, after the parking lot there were text messages exchanged between the two of us and many drunk dialing episodes on my part in the weeks to follow. Not to mention sentimental and apologetic Facebook messages. (I know I can't believe I'm single either...) He never responded to any of them and a few days later made it "official" with the snake. I was depressed. I deleted him from my phone to spare myself future embarrassment. I saw the snake while stalking Adam's Facebook profile and she's drop dead gorgeous with a perfect friendly smile. He had cute pics of them up and postings on his wall from her, and I had this horrible feeling that this was the end. He chose her to be with (which is significant since he's rarely in a relationship), she's perfect, and they would probably end up married. That's what I thought. In reality it lasted a few months and they split. I can not convey to you my selfish relief. I feel guilty admitting that as I do feel sad for him, but the honest truth is when I found out I literally jumped up and down.
So, why have we not run and jumped in each other's arms?!? If only it were that simple. I've always thought the second he was free again I'd waste no time making my feelings for him known. Now that he is single however, I am scared to death. Scared he will reject me. Scared he doesn't have feelings for me anymore. Scared he misses her. Scared he only wanted me when he couldn't have me. Mostly scared that I will go to him only to find out it was never as significant as it has been in my mind. He hasn't come to me. I wonder why. Im quite sure my feelings are out on the table after all of the drunk messaging. Why hasn't he messaged? called? Tried to set up a time to see each other? Run to me saying "It's you I want"? I wish I knew. I wish he would.
The truth is however, I have always had faith in this for some reason, and I don't have faith in many things. So I have decided to let the process happen, to give this the time it deserves to unravel and reveal whatever it's going to reveal in the end. Who knows his reasons for not coming to me - it does make me worry that I have wasted the last few years longing for someone who isn't what I thought he was- but I'm going to assume he at least has good reason. In the mean time- maybe it's a blessing in disguise. I'm still finding myself, I'm still having fun dating. I have realized rather quickly in these last few dating months that I am in fact looking for real love but maybe I'm not quite done swimming with the fishes.
maybe he needs time to figure out what he really wants out of your situation. How many times did you try to contact him after finding out he was in a relationship? That might have left a larger impression of how he feels about you than you may realize you know? He hasn't gotten back to you in any way since then? I think this needs to be on his time. Don't second guess the multiple times hes made it clear that you weren't a joke to him I know validation is nice to hear over and over again but the more you hear it the less it seems real. He's going to come around eventually to talk to you but it will need to be slow if you want to be with him. You stated that he doesn't just goes for women that he takes his time so maybe he needs to heal from this and he might not have the courage to face you right now.
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