You know how I mentioned I was trying to always look good in preparation for the unplanned run in with Male Model?!? (refer to previous blog: Male Models)
Well...it happened.
It was the day before Thanksgiving and of course everything everywhere was chaotic due to holiday traffic. So here I was leaving the building early, rushed but excited to start my trip back to NJ to see the fam. I was sweating, carrying luggage over one shoulder, and my dog in a doggie carrier over the other. The elevator opens and as I start my push through the lobby crowd I see Male Model. Looking like a model, warmly addressing the doorman by name like they are old friends, big smile on his face. It all happens in a split second. I see him and not knowing the degree of dishevel I am in pretend I don't see him. He pretends he doesn't see me, though I can tell he knows I am there, and we keep moving. That's it.
Now turns out...I was looking pretty good. Makeup was done, hair was down, had on cute boots and a leather jacket; not bad for rushing to a train. But it didn't matter. I saw him. His face, his eyes, that smile. I saw him for the first time since he had said all of those nice things on those good dates and then never called again. I saw him, and he saw me, and neither of us said anything. It made me sad. I didn't expect it, after all in reality it was a few dates a while back, but it hurt. All of a sudden I was in a sour mood and sitting on the train with pent up anger. I wanted to be thinking about my family, about food, about giving thanks but really I was just thinking 'Thanks a fuckin lot! Thanks for saying things you didn't mean! Thanks for never calling! Thanks for no explanation!' No matter how much we physically prepare to see someone we can't prepare for how we will feel when we do :/
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