First up after Mr. Almost was Bar Guy. I was at a bar with girlfriends when I spotted Bar guy (who in reality has the SAME name as Mr. Almost....I should have taken that as a clue). I noticed him huddled in a group of buddies and was pretty sure he had taken note of me as well. After quite a few drinks I happened to look up and we locked eyes, flashed each other shy yet broad smiles and then he vanished down some steps with the buds. I finally made his acquaintance a while later when I hopped off a bar stool to escape "the 40 yr old virgin" who was pestering me, and bumped into Bar Guy to my pleasant surprise. We said hello before I immediately took his hand and asked him to save me from pervo. I led him down the steps, our separate circles of friends in tow, and we found a seat to have a few drinks and some convo together. Hours later, after I had been out with the girls at other bars I bumped into him again on the street and was just incoherent enough to feel like we were old friends!
He called me 3 days later and we started hanging out. I now realize that I read into everything and take men too seriously. It started with Bar Guy. I read into the fact that we locked eyes at the bar, that I bumped into him when jumping off the bar stool and again later in the street. I read into the fact that our first date was great; we talked, we drank, we kissed, we had a lot in common and he was so much more down to earth than I thought he'd be. We bonded over our sick love of 7/11 and our blue collar hard working families. I think I immediately convinced myself that this all meant something and that this would go somewhere. In reality, we hung out about 6 times and then he never called me again.
I'd like to call him an asshole. I'd like to say he led me on, that he's a total douche bag. This is what my girlfriends would say and I would love them for it. However, I have to take some responsibility here. I looked into the eye contact and the cute text messages he sent after each date, but ignored things too.I I ignored the fact that he was only 21, I ignored the fact that he was beautiful (blonde curls, blue eyes and boyish yet sexy build), and that he was leaving for school in Europe in a few weeks. I also convinced myself that the fact he always took me out late and always somewhere that alcohol was involved wasn't necessarily devious. I forgot all about the fact that we met in a bar while I was drunk and that it might not be a great sign he's picking up drunk chicks (I think I made an exception because in this case I'm the chick and I know I'm an awesome girl ;) ) All of these elements combined should have screamed "young and wants to have fun". Truth is, I was very aware of these things but convinced myself he would fall for the beauty in my soul and we'd be like the couple from the movie "Going the Distance" when he went back to school. (I even watched the movie quite a few times during this time period.)
The thing I struggle with is this...there were flags, yes, but aren't there always? When two people first meet there are bound to be some flags. In my mind, its after people get to know each other and realize they like each other that they drop the flags and decide to take each other more seriously. So, how can one walk away in the beginning, even if they see the flags waving, if they have hope the flags may later fall?
No comments:
Post a Comment